By Veda Street, Contributor
The greatest of all time… Typically seen as an important title.
But right now my eyes are falling heavily and my arms are sore from a long day. On days like these my thoughts are more escapist than profound. I grab the soap when I’ve come up with a storyline.. Today, I’m the best up and coming actress. What I need now is a great talk show to appear on!
Maybe Jimmy Fallon’s? On one hand he’ll be sure to flatter me with his continuous laughter, but on the other, he’s too funny and I don’t want to risk him taking away from my presence.
Ooh maybe Ellen’s? Well, she’d ask good questions but I’d be too afraid to ruin her white chairs with whatever antics I find myself in. I can picture myself spilling coffee all over the cashmere or whatever her chairs are made of. I don’t think I’d ever be invited back. An appearance on Ellen would simply lead to embarrassment.
Steven Colbert is sweet, and he’d certainly ask interesting questions. Plus, his smile is contagious… but perhaps he’s not as enticing to younger audiences. And what if I spill coffee? Some things don’t change—actress or not. He’d probably get flustered and contribute to further embarrassment. I can’t risk that, Steven!
I think of Kimmel, O’Brien, Letterman, Corden… But none of them fit the criteria to a tee. Plus, I’m convinced they all have been wearing the same suit since they started in the business… And I need variety, man!
Then, I remember Seth Meyers.
Hm… he’s engaging to listen to. He’s the type who you’d feel comfortable sitting down and having tea with. He’s charming, too. Funny. Intelligent. The guy who you could count on to make you smile after a long day at work. If I were to spill coffee, I feel he’d simply laugh it off.
I turn off the shower.
Yes. I’ve decided. Seth Meyers is the greatest of all time.